Reality = Redha

That final year, really kill me.

Inside, outside.

Finally, I have nothing left for me.

In fact, I have lost myself.

I suddenly forget how to smile.

How to enjoy my own life.

What I just know and remember, 

I’m just a loser.

And again..

In fact, I got traumatised.

When I get into all those memories,

my heart beats faster, like a drum.

And I hope, all those bad memories can be erased.

Indeed, it just only a hope.

And if you ask whether I miss all the moments,

my answer will definitely NO.

Then, when it(the regrets of making the choice) happen again, 

I ask myself.

Is it true that you have got nothing from all those memories.

 Is it all bad things that you got?

The knowledges that you have got.

The personality that you have built.

All the nagging(read:advices) that you got so that you can improve yourself.

The new people, new friends.

Is it all bad memories.

Think again. Clearly.

Are you really regret and sad of what had happened?

Are you really want to erase all those memories?

And suddenly, my mind keep saying this word. 

Redha.

Belajar untuk redha. 

Sesuatu takkan jadi kalau bukan kehendak Tuhan.

Sesuatu takkan berlaku dekat kita kalau itu bukan yang terbaik.

Sesuatu takkan jadi realiti kalau bukan itu takdir kita.

Random question.

Macam mana nak redha?

Macam mana nak redha?

Macam mana nak redha?

1. [Belive that there must be a reason of what had happened.]

Percaya apa yang berlaku ada hikmahnya.

 Itu yang terbaik antara yang baik. Ada hikmahnya.

2. [Be positif.]

Bersangka baik dengan Allah.

Yakin pada Allah yang dah atur semuanya dengan cantik.  

Yakin yang Dia takkan saja-saja nak uji 

kalau bukan untuk tarbiah kau jadi lebih baik.

3. [Be strong.]

 Jangan mengalah. Jangan putus asa.

Dalam perjalanan itu, adat untuk jatuh, tergelincir, terpesong.

Tapi bangkit kembali, berjalan dan berlari.

Walau kau terpaksa merangkak. 

As long as, you never stop.

Ya, jadi seorang fighter. Fight for your own life.

4. [Smile. Senyum]

Lepas menangis, senyum kembali.

Meskipun dada kau terasa perit, terluka.

Yakin, everything will be okay.

Dan juga sebab kau sangat cantik bila tersenyum.  :)

And this was my previous post about sabar dan redha

It has been four years.

Yes. Four years. 

Lastly,

'So do not weaken and do not grieve, and you will be superior if you are [true] believer' 

Janganlah kau bersikap lemah, dan janganlah kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamulah orang yang paling tinggi (darjatnya) jika kamu orang yang beriman.

[3:139]

Well, after a dark path, there must be a light at the end

And also, mohon doakan. Agar ‘I’ itu belajar untuk redha.  Again and again.